that's a hummer
This morning, on the way to work, I listened to Living on Earth's show about McDonald's new toy hummers, which I guess are part of their happy meals. My favorite part of the interview was when the McFlack said:
"Well, why not a Hummer? I certainly appreciate the fact that there are some who have concerns about the environment, which we certainly share. We have a long history of responsibility for the environment, and we will continue to do so. But the happy meal promotion with a Hummer toy certainly speaks to what children do best, and that is use their imagination and play."
Indeed! Nothing like encouraging a child's imagination with a toy hummer. And because I am child-like myself (or, at least, juvenile), I've come up with A sample game for those children whose imaginations are lethargic as the result of eating McDonald's in the first place:
APOCOLYPSE/HIGH SCHOOL DANCE
BEST PLAYED WITH AT LEAST FOUR CHILDREN AND 10 TOY HUMMERS
PREMISE: The world is basically on its last legs as the result of global warming. All major cities have been wiped out by some sort of catastrophic weather-related event. Those few remaining residents spend their days foraging for food, which they bring back and eat inside their hummers. The hummers can't move, because there is no gasoline left either. There's actually no Middle East left, because all the wars over oil in the Middle East have resulted in some sort of nuclear/biological war that has wiped the entire region off any maps that might still exist.
CHARACTERS:
1. FORMER MILITARY PERSON, MOSTLY STRATEGIZES ON THE BEST WAY TO USE THE TOY HUMMERS AS SHELTER
2. FORMER MCDONALD'S EMPLOYEE: MOSTLY STRATEGIZES ON THE BEST WAY TO DIVIDE ONE MCDONALD'S HAMBURGER SO THAT IT CAN FEED AN ENTIRE VILLAGE
3. FORMER FOX NEWS ANCHOR: MOSTLY TRIES TO CONVINCE ALL REMAINING HUMANS THAT THERE HASN'T BEEN AN APOCOLYPSE BUT IF THERE WAS IT WAS SOMEBODY ELSE'S FAULT.
4. HIGH SCHOOL DANCE COORDINATOR, MOSTLY TRIES TO CONVINCE EVERYONE ELSE THAT EVEN THOUGH THE WORLD HAS ENDED, THERE'S NO FOOD AND LITTLE CHANCE OF SURVIVAL, THAT'S NO REASON TO BLOW OFF HAVING A SENIOR PROM DANCE! INSIDE THE HUMMERS!
Sample dialogue for Apocolypse/High School Dance: The Game
Military character: I'm sure glad I bought this hummer!
Former McDonald's employee: I'm glad I work at McDonald's because the food that survived the apocolypse still tastes the way it used to when we had electricity!
Fox News Anchor: Froths at mouth, turns red, appears to speak in tongues.
High School Dance Coordinator: Just because our families are all dead and the earth has been scorched doesn't mean we can't have fun! Anyone who wants to be on the decorations committee, meet me in Hummer #2!
"Well, why not a Hummer? I certainly appreciate the fact that there are some who have concerns about the environment, which we certainly share. We have a long history of responsibility for the environment, and we will continue to do so. But the happy meal promotion with a Hummer toy certainly speaks to what children do best, and that is use their imagination and play."
Indeed! Nothing like encouraging a child's imagination with a toy hummer. And because I am child-like myself (or, at least, juvenile), I've come up with A sample game for those children whose imaginations are lethargic as the result of eating McDonald's in the first place:
APOCOLYPSE/HIGH SCHOOL DANCE
BEST PLAYED WITH AT LEAST FOUR CHILDREN AND 10 TOY HUMMERS
PREMISE: The world is basically on its last legs as the result of global warming. All major cities have been wiped out by some sort of catastrophic weather-related event. Those few remaining residents spend their days foraging for food, which they bring back and eat inside their hummers. The hummers can't move, because there is no gasoline left either. There's actually no Middle East left, because all the wars over oil in the Middle East have resulted in some sort of nuclear/biological war that has wiped the entire region off any maps that might still exist.
CHARACTERS:
1. FORMER MILITARY PERSON, MOSTLY STRATEGIZES ON THE BEST WAY TO USE THE TOY HUMMERS AS SHELTER
2. FORMER MCDONALD'S EMPLOYEE: MOSTLY STRATEGIZES ON THE BEST WAY TO DIVIDE ONE MCDONALD'S HAMBURGER SO THAT IT CAN FEED AN ENTIRE VILLAGE
3. FORMER FOX NEWS ANCHOR: MOSTLY TRIES TO CONVINCE ALL REMAINING HUMANS THAT THERE HASN'T BEEN AN APOCOLYPSE BUT IF THERE WAS IT WAS SOMEBODY ELSE'S FAULT.
4. HIGH SCHOOL DANCE COORDINATOR, MOSTLY TRIES TO CONVINCE EVERYONE ELSE THAT EVEN THOUGH THE WORLD HAS ENDED, THERE'S NO FOOD AND LITTLE CHANCE OF SURVIVAL, THAT'S NO REASON TO BLOW OFF HAVING A SENIOR PROM DANCE! INSIDE THE HUMMERS!
Sample dialogue for Apocolypse/High School Dance: The Game
Military character: I'm sure glad I bought this hummer!
Former McDonald's employee: I'm glad I work at McDonald's because the food that survived the apocolypse still tastes the way it used to when we had electricity!
Fox News Anchor: Froths at mouth, turns red, appears to speak in tongues.
High School Dance Coordinator: Just because our families are all dead and the earth has been scorched doesn't mean we can't have fun! Anyone who wants to be on the decorations committee, meet me in Hummer #2!
posted by Julia at 2:08 PM
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