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Wednesday, July 27, 2005

grow up

I borrowed Peter's backpack for my hike with Dan on Saturday and have been walking around wearing it ever since. I just wandered down the street to get lunch wearing it. Walking around wearing this backpack cheers me up. It actually puts me in a good mood. Why? Because I am immature. I am, there is no denying it. My brain thinks adult thoughts and is capable of processing complex ideas, but there is a part of me that is so amused by walking around with a backpack that it completely obliterates the rest of it. Well, next year I will grow up. For now, I guess I will take my laughs where I can get them. I am weirdly sanguine about tonight's party. I can't tell if I've coordinated this party so often that it's become unstressful or if I've just forgotten to do a bunch of key things and thus it's become unstressful. It's possible that I've just delegated so succesfully that there's nothing to do and everyone else is stressed out instead. It's awfully quiet in here today. I think we're all in a state of shock. Even the really loud people are quiet. The sun just came out too, so maybe it won't rain at BOSF like it usually does. Maybe it's a bad sign that I'm not worrying about all the things that could go wrong like I usually do. Usually I worry and then everything is fine. Perhaps by not worrying I am tempting the Gods. Or maybe it will all be swell. It will be, for sure, a one-martini night. I am growing fond of sobriety and adequate sleep, finally.